O Dog Owner!
Peasant and follower
of the canine species-
Your dedication and
desire to promote
yourself through another
animal has reached new
heights!
O Dog Owner!
Readily unwrapping and placing
that shiny cover over
your hand you observantly
and carefully watch your
dog squat and struggle.
Analyzing! Anticipating!
The wait is over!
You can readily fulfill
your civic duty!
The warmth in your
heart is now matched by
that of the warmth in your hand.
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4 comments:
Hilarious Brian. Thanks so much for getting us all laughing! I imagine your students are gonna love it when you share your writing with them!
I am a cat person by nature, so I take real pleasure in this poem. I can't imagine having to trail your dog waiting for the eventual plop!
In particular I found the line "Your dedication and desire to promote
yourself through another animal has reached new heights" superb. The way your poem questions the intentions of dog owners is hilarious. Of course, I understand they are doing the right thing, but all the same it is pretty revolting.
My dad was just telling me that there's a guy in our neighborhood who has a little dustpan shaped thing and he actually puts it under his dog's bootyhole to catch the poop AS it comes out! That's a little much for me, and I actually love my dog more than most people. I think, more than anything, it shows that he's way too obsessed with the purity of his lawn.
Also, I love your use of exclamation points in this poem - it totally works.
"You can readily fulfill
your civic duty!
The warmth in your
heart is now matched by
that of the warmth in your hand."
This had me on the floor laughing. I do however, wish the people walking their dogs in our neighborhood past our huge corner lot would feel the same urge of civic duty calling their name as those mentioned in your poem!?!
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